The Winter of my Discontent

"I'm so busy with life, that I'm forgetting to live." - These words rose up in my heart a few days ago.

I feel like I'm in a slump. I'm very dissatisfied. It's not that I'm not appreciative of all I have. I thank God for everything. And I literally mean everything. This morning I thanked God for the warm shower I was taking.  I'm greatful... but I'm still in a state of deep discontent. I don't want to feel this way. I just feel like I was made for something other than this. I think we all are. I don't think we were meant to go to work and be away from our families all day - most of the time just doing it for the paycheck. Most of us don't work where we do because we love it, but because we need money to survive. This just doesn't feel right. I feel so unfulfilled.

The bible says the sabbath was made for the man, not man for the sabbath. Well, this may not be related, but it's what comes to mind. Work was made for me, not me for work. Work is, or should be, a way to holiness; a way to help us become better people through the discipline necessary for a job well done; something that unites families as they work together for eachother; a way for parents to teach their children a strong work ethic and pass down skills that can offer a service to others - while at the same time passing on their faith in God. Work and God should not be separate. As a matter of fact, God should not be separated from anything. God should not be compartmentalized. He should be a part of every aspect of our lives and if we are to fulfill our purpose in work, God must be included in that as well.

I feel as if everything in this "modern" world is designed to tear families apart, consume all our time and distract us so we don't have time for the things that really matter. God, family and country.

This includes educating our children outside of the home. I'm a big homeschool advocate. The words of Woodrow Wilson come to mind. "Our problem is not merely to help the students to adjust themselves to world life. Our problem is to make them as unlike their fathers as we can." That is exactly what our education system does. With children out of the house and away from their families for hours at a time, they are taught that the values which their parents hold dear are old-fashioned. They should be disregarded because, after all, children are much smarter than their parents. As Al Gore said, “There are some things about our world that you know that older people don’t know.” Since the Progressive Era began, our children have been taken out of the care of their parents and put into the hands of "teachers" who are really just there to indoctrinate and not educate.

Society is falling apart. The breakdown of society has been a problem for decades and some still don't see it... much less would they be aware that the root of the problems in society are the problems in the family. God did not give me my daughter so I could send her away all day, every day, while I go slave away at a job that doesn't inspire or fulfill me, to then come home so tired that I can't even enjoy my time with her. This just doesn't seem right.

So I guess this is where I am right now. This is the winter of my discontent. Society is headed toward a downward spiral because families are the basis of society and our basis is crumbling. If more of our families would set their foot upon the rock, the foundation, the Church... GOD... maybe we could turn this thing around. And the end of it all, I guess what I'm saying is that God is the answer to all of societies ails.

Seemingly Meaningless Events

When I was in High School, someone gave me an orange pocket-sized New Testament Bible. I have no recollection of who gave it to me. I don't remember my reaction when it was given to me. I might not have even said thank you. But I kept it.

A few years after High School, I began my conversion process. I don't really remember ever reading this Bible, but I do recall reading the scripture right after the intro. This particular Bible has John 3:16 in 26 languages and I used to read through them all the time. Once I got my hands on a complete Bible, I put this one in a box and forgot it existed.

A few weeks ago, I was looking through pictures in the very same box, and I thought I saw the Bible but thought so little of it, I wasn't even sure if I had seen it.

Yesterday, as I was sitting at my desk, I was wishing I had a bible with me. I have about 20 at home, but none of them are small enough to carry in my bag. And I thought of the little orange bible. I decided I'd go home and look for it. It was in the picture box. It's a perfect fit for my bag.

This morning I was sitting in church waiting for Mass to begin. I took the little bible out and began to read the intro. This is what it says:

THE BIBLE contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doom of sinners, and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are holy, its precepts are binding, its histories are true, and its decisions are immutable. Read it to be wise, believe it to be safe and practice it to be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you, and comfort to cheer you.

It is the traveler's map, the pilgrim's staff, the pilot's compass, the soldier's sword, and the Christian's charter. Here Paradise is restored, Heaven opened, and the gates of hell disclosed.

CHRIST is its grand subject, our good the design, and the glory of God its end.

It should fill the memory, rule the heart, and guide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently, and prayerfully. It is a mine of wealth, a paradise of glory, and a river of pleasure. It is given you in life, will be opened at the judgment, and be remembered forever. It involves the highest responsibility, will reward the greatest labor, and will condemn all who trifle with its sacred contents.

NOW this makes sense to me. NOW I can appreciate the wisdom and I see the beauty of what was written in that orange pocket-sized New Testament Bible. NOW I see that God was calling me way before I ever stopped to listen to His Voice.

As I said, I don't even remember who gave me this Bible. What I do know is that God's plans are so amazing. He plans everything down to the smallest detail. A seemingly meaningless event that happened years ago may have an impact on you today... You never saw it coming. You could never imagine that the two would be related. But they are. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Thank you God for calling me. Thank you for giving me the Grace to respond. And thank you for the servants you have sent into my life to spread your message of Love for me. Bless the brother or sister who gave me this Bible.

Arizona Immigration Law

I think I need a place to vent, and I think this is where it seems most appropriate. This is more like an online journal than a blog since the only one that reads this is my husband.

The Progressive Liberal lies...

If you are for the Arizona Immigration Law, you are a racist.

You don't care about poor people.

Being for the Immigration law means you are FOR Nazi Germany. (I was just told that one this morning)

God is against the Arizona Immigration Law.

***************************************************************

The Conservative Libertarian Truth...

We are not racist.

We care about the poor people, we just want to be safe. Having open borders with no security doesn't only allow the poor people to come in. It also gives terrorists full access to a country they despise and want to destroy. That's not even mentioning the Mexican drug cartels who are coming across our border.

We are not only against Nazi Germany, but we are also against Communist China which is where the progressives are taking this country. This is so difficult to explain if one has not been paying attention for the past year and a half. In taking over health care and setting up "death panels" they have taken over your life. They decide who has a right to live and who doesn't when it's time to ration health care. With the new financial bill that was just passed, the government now has control of 70% of all business. In the new financial bill, new laws have been put into place that make the freedom of information act null and void in certain instances. Fannie and Freddie can continue to reak havoc on our economy and cannot be questioned.  By LAW, they can do as they please and no longer have to answer to the American people. They are trying to do away with the electoral college... Just like Venezuela. Obama's regulation czar (Cass Sunstein) has said that if anyone is against Obama's agenda, they should infiltrate the groups to keep tabs on what they are planning. These are just a few of the examples of how we are quickly and surely becoming a dictatorship and big brother is keeping a close eye. There are way too many to list here.

God is for helping the poor and so are we. That is why we believe that the government should make it EASIER for immigrants to become American citizens. This country was made what it is today by immigrants. The government should cut the red tape and let families come in legally so they too have the opportunity that we were all blessed to have. But what is wrong with monitoring who comes in and out of the country? ARIZONA IS THE SECOND KIDNAPPING CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. I REPEAT, ARIZONA IS THE SECOND KIDNAPPING CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. The drug cartels in Mexico are having a field day kidnapping American citizens for money. Does that not matter? Does God not expect our government to protect its citizens? Is God not FOR the protection of citizens? Are the American citizens that are suffering in Arizona and not to mention Texas, are they less important because they are not poor? Should we not care for their safety? And are we wrong because we believe that someone who enters the country ILLEGALLY should have a consequence for the LAW THEY BROKE? Is breaking laws ok?

And are these progressives really concerned with caring for the poor? Or are they after the power they will have for the next 50 years through the votes of the people they supposedly want to help? If they really cared about immigrants, they would make it easier for them to enter the country.

I think nowadays, a lot of good hearted people have been fed the progressive lie and they are swallowing it up. The sad thing is that they are falling right into the traps the progressives have set for them. They know how true believers hold on to their faith with all their hearts. They know that its something you can't take away from a true believer. So they do the next best thing... they use it against you.

Stop the doubt. JUST BELIEVE!

So yesterday, doubt struck. I've purchased a few books and a small hand seeder, and I began to feel like it was a waste of money, because let's face it... we'll never be able to buy a farm and afford to live off of the farm and to homeschool our children. I shared my feeling with my husband who quickly gave me an attitude adjustment. HAVE FAITH! IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN!! STOP THE DOUBT. JUST BELIEVE!!! I love his attitude adjustments. =)

After listening to him, I started listening to the latest Mark Mallet video and he also offered some words of encouragement. So I will ignore how "impossible" it seems and remember that nothing is impossible for God.

I think what set me off was septic tanks. Out of all things, it was a septic tank. I've been looking for farms for sale in different states and a lot of them have septic tanks. Me, being the city girl that I am, I didn't realize that sewer systems are mostly in urban areas and are not commonly found in rural areas. I DON'T WANT A SEPTIC TANK! They scare me. I thought about the cost of it and having to have it cleaned out and property taxes and blah, blah, blah... and that was it. The septic tank set me off. And I love my husband's reaction. "Maybe it won't be so bad." lol! I love him. So now I'm back to believing that it will happen and all things will be ok. Thank you Jesus for such a wonderful husband who trusts you.

One day to the next

Is it closer than I think? I hope and pray it is. I hope and pray that someway, somehow, God will move us to the farm in the blink of an eye. It's scary. But the more time goes by, the more I feel like this is really where we are headed. I'm excited and scared... fear of the unknown. I'm a mixture of emotions. One thing is for certain... God is going to get SO MUCH GLORY through this because there is no way we can change our entire way of living without Him. We don't have the money. We don't have the knowledge of farming. Honestly speaking, we don't have ANYTHING! But I feel a strange peace... like I KNOW... I KNOW that once we get there, God will take care of us. He always has. And I do mean always. I know He will teach us. I know He will bring the people in our lives, if any, that are supposed to help us. I've been praying for that. I know He is going to make all the pieces fit perfectly. I see it being a perfectly orchestrated, smooth transition in which all things are provided for. That's how God has worked in my life. I will wait and wait, then one day to the next, He literally pulls me out of one situation and I'm in a new and better place immediately and His Provisions are more than abundant. I can't wait!!! I hope and trust in Him. I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds my future. It's all in His Hands.

God's Call and Garden Pics

So after I got back into the swing of things and I caught up on all the news of the day, I decided that besides prayer, the only thing I could do is continue to be lead by God on the road to the purpose He has in store for me. I believe God has been speaking very clearly to my husband and me. God's purpose is for us to eventually move out of NY and to a farm. I believe we are to work from home and homeschool our children. He keeps telling us how He is going to give us land and bless our crops in abundance.

"All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you if you obey the LORD your God:

"Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the country. "Blessed shall be the offspring of your body and the produce of your ground and the offspring of your beasts, the increase of your herd and the young of your flock. "Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. "Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out. "The LORD shall cause your enemies who rise up against you to be defeated before you; they will come out against you one way and will flee before you seven ways. "The LORD will command the blessing upon you in your barns and in all that you put your hand to, and He will bless you in the land which the LORD your God gives you. The LORD will establish you as a holy people to Himself, as He swore to you, if you keep the commandments of the LORD your God and walk in His ways. "So all the peoples of the earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will be afraid of you. "The LORD will make you abound in prosperity, in the offspring of your body and in the offspring of your beast and in the produce of your ground, in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers to give you. "The LORD will open for you His good storehouse, the heavens, to give rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hand; and you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God, which I charge you today, to observe them carefully, and do not turn aside from any of the words which I command you today, to the right or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them." (Duet. 28:2-14)

This is only one of the various reading God has given us and the funny thing is He gave us this reading LONG before we knew He was leading us in this direction. Since we believe this is where God is taking us, I've been doing something I enjoy beyond belief. I've been reading blogs on homesteading, on farming for farmers markets and on CSA's. It's so exciting to know that I'm spending my days preparing for the blessings. The same way you prepare the soil, plant the seed, water and weed and wait for the harvest... that is what I feel I'm doing now.

These are some pictures of our little garden, if I can even call it that. I regret not taking pics of it before we did the major clean up of grass clippings and weeding. It looks completely different.

These are the older tomato plants that have been out there for a few weeks,

with the neighbors yard behind them.

This is one of the two lettuce plants that survived and a small tomato plant our neighbors gave us.

It's gotten a lot bigger in a week.

close up of the donated tomato plant.

The big one on the right is the artichoke plant

and the two on the left are the spinach plants we direct seeded.

They weren't doing too well for a while because the sun was burning them up.

But they seem to be doing better.

How quickly the weeds come back. I just weeded last Sunday.

These are the newly planted tomato, red, yellow and orange bell pepper, cucumber, and 1 basil plant.

We also direct seeded some basil in the middle "row". We literally just threw them in the ground with no rhyme or reason. We are completely aware that we should space them and blah, blah, blah but we don't have a lot of space and there are a heck of a lot of seeds in a packet so we just threw them on the ground and hoped for the best. The only section we don't have a picture of is the one with the red beans in the ground and in two pots. We went to the supermarket, bought some dried red beans and planted them. Just an experiment.We'll see how that goes.

Back to Reality

So I had a beautiful Memorial Day weekend. I cleaned up the yard, I planted tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, basil and beans. I had a beautiful visit with my in-laws. I baked bread, made a cheesecake and watched movies with my family. We barbequed yesterday and played volleyball. The weekend had some frustrating moments, but for the most part, it was a great weekend.

Of course, all good things come to an end. This morning I'm back at work and I learn of all that has happened over the weekend. Spain's credit score has been dropped. Troubles with Israel and the U.S. is on the side of the U.N. The U.N. is NEVER on the right side. Journalism takeover by the U.S. government. Two Moroccan men were deported from Italy because of their plot to assassinate the Holy Father. And so on and so on. Mark Mallet's blog (older blogs that he wrote before the unraveling began) confirm that his prophetic words are to be heeded. Spirit Daily's headlines offered the same news of the prophetic pulse. The Drudge report is unmentionable.

Dear sweet Jesus, Have mercy on us. Pour your grace out upon us that we may seek your face. Lead us and guide us. Take care of us as we place our trust in you.

It feels as if things will now begin to speed up. Things will continue to unravel until its all undone, and then... they will come in and take full control.

Prepare, but not just with food and water. But with prayer and fasting. With confession and Mass. With the Rosary and Scripture.

Our only source of hope is Christ. And that's how it should be.

Those who trust in Him will not be put to shame.