Seemingly Meaningless Events

When I was in High School, someone gave me an orange pocket-sized New Testament Bible. I have no recollection of who gave it to me. I don't remember my reaction when it was given to me. I might not have even said thank you. But I kept it.

A few years after High School, I began my conversion process. I don't really remember ever reading this Bible, but I do recall reading the scripture right after the intro. This particular Bible has John 3:16 in 26 languages and I used to read through them all the time. Once I got my hands on a complete Bible, I put this one in a box and forgot it existed.

A few weeks ago, I was looking through pictures in the very same box, and I thought I saw the Bible but thought so little of it, I wasn't even sure if I had seen it.

Yesterday, as I was sitting at my desk, I was wishing I had a bible with me. I have about 20 at home, but none of them are small enough to carry in my bag. And I thought of the little orange bible. I decided I'd go home and look for it. It was in the picture box. It's a perfect fit for my bag.

This morning I was sitting in church waiting for Mass to begin. I took the little bible out and began to read the intro. This is what it says:

THE BIBLE contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation, the doom of sinners, and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are holy, its precepts are binding, its histories are true, and its decisions are immutable. Read it to be wise, believe it to be safe and practice it to be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you, and comfort to cheer you.

It is the traveler's map, the pilgrim's staff, the pilot's compass, the soldier's sword, and the Christian's charter. Here Paradise is restored, Heaven opened, and the gates of hell disclosed.

CHRIST is its grand subject, our good the design, and the glory of God its end.

It should fill the memory, rule the heart, and guide the feet. Read it slowly, frequently, and prayerfully. It is a mine of wealth, a paradise of glory, and a river of pleasure. It is given you in life, will be opened at the judgment, and be remembered forever. It involves the highest responsibility, will reward the greatest labor, and will condemn all who trifle with its sacred contents.

NOW this makes sense to me. NOW I can appreciate the wisdom and I see the beauty of what was written in that orange pocket-sized New Testament Bible. NOW I see that God was calling me way before I ever stopped to listen to His Voice.

As I said, I don't even remember who gave me this Bible. What I do know is that God's plans are so amazing. He plans everything down to the smallest detail. A seemingly meaningless event that happened years ago may have an impact on you today... You never saw it coming. You could never imagine that the two would be related. But they are. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Thank you God for calling me. Thank you for giving me the Grace to respond. And thank you for the servants you have sent into my life to spread your message of Love for me. Bless the brother or sister who gave me this Bible.

Arizona Immigration Law

I think I need a place to vent, and I think this is where it seems most appropriate. This is more like an online journal than a blog since the only one that reads this is my husband.

The Progressive Liberal lies...

If you are for the Arizona Immigration Law, you are a racist.

You don't care about poor people.

Being for the Immigration law means you are FOR Nazi Germany. (I was just told that one this morning)

God is against the Arizona Immigration Law.

***************************************************************

The Conservative Libertarian Truth...

We are not racist.

We care about the poor people, we just want to be safe. Having open borders with no security doesn't only allow the poor people to come in. It also gives terrorists full access to a country they despise and want to destroy. That's not even mentioning the Mexican drug cartels who are coming across our border.

We are not only against Nazi Germany, but we are also against Communist China which is where the progressives are taking this country. This is so difficult to explain if one has not been paying attention for the past year and a half. In taking over health care and setting up "death panels" they have taken over your life. They decide who has a right to live and who doesn't when it's time to ration health care. With the new financial bill that was just passed, the government now has control of 70% of all business. In the new financial bill, new laws have been put into place that make the freedom of information act null and void in certain instances. Fannie and Freddie can continue to reak havoc on our economy and cannot be questioned.  By LAW, they can do as they please and no longer have to answer to the American people. They are trying to do away with the electoral college... Just like Venezuela. Obama's regulation czar (Cass Sunstein) has said that if anyone is against Obama's agenda, they should infiltrate the groups to keep tabs on what they are planning. These are just a few of the examples of how we are quickly and surely becoming a dictatorship and big brother is keeping a close eye. There are way too many to list here.

God is for helping the poor and so are we. That is why we believe that the government should make it EASIER for immigrants to become American citizens. This country was made what it is today by immigrants. The government should cut the red tape and let families come in legally so they too have the opportunity that we were all blessed to have. But what is wrong with monitoring who comes in and out of the country? ARIZONA IS THE SECOND KIDNAPPING CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. I REPEAT, ARIZONA IS THE SECOND KIDNAPPING CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. The drug cartels in Mexico are having a field day kidnapping American citizens for money. Does that not matter? Does God not expect our government to protect its citizens? Is God not FOR the protection of citizens? Are the American citizens that are suffering in Arizona and not to mention Texas, are they less important because they are not poor? Should we not care for their safety? And are we wrong because we believe that someone who enters the country ILLEGALLY should have a consequence for the LAW THEY BROKE? Is breaking laws ok?

And are these progressives really concerned with caring for the poor? Or are they after the power they will have for the next 50 years through the votes of the people they supposedly want to help? If they really cared about immigrants, they would make it easier for them to enter the country.

I think nowadays, a lot of good hearted people have been fed the progressive lie and they are swallowing it up. The sad thing is that they are falling right into the traps the progressives have set for them. They know how true believers hold on to their faith with all their hearts. They know that its something you can't take away from a true believer. So they do the next best thing... they use it against you.

Stop the doubt. JUST BELIEVE!

So yesterday, doubt struck. I've purchased a few books and a small hand seeder, and I began to feel like it was a waste of money, because let's face it... we'll never be able to buy a farm and afford to live off of the farm and to homeschool our children. I shared my feeling with my husband who quickly gave me an attitude adjustment. HAVE FAITH! IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN!! STOP THE DOUBT. JUST BELIEVE!!! I love his attitude adjustments. =)

After listening to him, I started listening to the latest Mark Mallet video and he also offered some words of encouragement. So I will ignore how "impossible" it seems and remember that nothing is impossible for God.

I think what set me off was septic tanks. Out of all things, it was a septic tank. I've been looking for farms for sale in different states and a lot of them have septic tanks. Me, being the city girl that I am, I didn't realize that sewer systems are mostly in urban areas and are not commonly found in rural areas. I DON'T WANT A SEPTIC TANK! They scare me. I thought about the cost of it and having to have it cleaned out and property taxes and blah, blah, blah... and that was it. The septic tank set me off. And I love my husband's reaction. "Maybe it won't be so bad." lol! I love him. So now I'm back to believing that it will happen and all things will be ok. Thank you Jesus for such a wonderful husband who trusts you.

One day to the next

Is it closer than I think? I hope and pray it is. I hope and pray that someway, somehow, God will move us to the farm in the blink of an eye. It's scary. But the more time goes by, the more I feel like this is really where we are headed. I'm excited and scared... fear of the unknown. I'm a mixture of emotions. One thing is for certain... God is going to get SO MUCH GLORY through this because there is no way we can change our entire way of living without Him. We don't have the money. We don't have the knowledge of farming. Honestly speaking, we don't have ANYTHING! But I feel a strange peace... like I KNOW... I KNOW that once we get there, God will take care of us. He always has. And I do mean always. I know He will teach us. I know He will bring the people in our lives, if any, that are supposed to help us. I've been praying for that. I know He is going to make all the pieces fit perfectly. I see it being a perfectly orchestrated, smooth transition in which all things are provided for. That's how God has worked in my life. I will wait and wait, then one day to the next, He literally pulls me out of one situation and I'm in a new and better place immediately and His Provisions are more than abundant. I can't wait!!! I hope and trust in Him. I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds my future. It's all in His Hands.

God's Call and Garden Pics

So after I got back into the swing of things and I caught up on all the news of the day, I decided that besides prayer, the only thing I could do is continue to be lead by God on the road to the purpose He has in store for me. I believe God has been speaking very clearly to my husband and me. God's purpose is for us to eventually move out of NY and to a farm. I believe we are to work from home and homeschool our children. He keeps telling us how He is going to give us land and bless our crops in abundance.

"All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you if you obey the LORD your God:

"Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the country. "Blessed shall be the offspring of your body and the produce of your ground and the offspring of your beasts, the increase of your herd and the young of your flock. "Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. "Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out. "The LORD shall cause your enemies who rise up against you to be defeated before you; they will come out against you one way and will flee before you seven ways. "The LORD will command the blessing upon you in your barns and in all that you put your hand to, and He will bless you in the land which the LORD your God gives you. The LORD will establish you as a holy people to Himself, as He swore to you, if you keep the commandments of the LORD your God and walk in His ways. "So all the peoples of the earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will be afraid of you. "The LORD will make you abound in prosperity, in the offspring of your body and in the offspring of your beast and in the produce of your ground, in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers to give you. "The LORD will open for you His good storehouse, the heavens, to give rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hand; and you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. "The LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the LORD your God, which I charge you today, to observe them carefully, and do not turn aside from any of the words which I command you today, to the right or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them." (Duet. 28:2-14)

This is only one of the various reading God has given us and the funny thing is He gave us this reading LONG before we knew He was leading us in this direction. Since we believe this is where God is taking us, I've been doing something I enjoy beyond belief. I've been reading blogs on homesteading, on farming for farmers markets and on CSA's. It's so exciting to know that I'm spending my days preparing for the blessings. The same way you prepare the soil, plant the seed, water and weed and wait for the harvest... that is what I feel I'm doing now.

These are some pictures of our little garden, if I can even call it that. I regret not taking pics of it before we did the major clean up of grass clippings and weeding. It looks completely different.

These are the older tomato plants that have been out there for a few weeks,

with the neighbors yard behind them.

This is one of the two lettuce plants that survived and a small tomato plant our neighbors gave us.

It's gotten a lot bigger in a week.

close up of the donated tomato plant.

The big one on the right is the artichoke plant

and the two on the left are the spinach plants we direct seeded.

They weren't doing too well for a while because the sun was burning them up.

But they seem to be doing better.

How quickly the weeds come back. I just weeded last Sunday.

These are the newly planted tomato, red, yellow and orange bell pepper, cucumber, and 1 basil plant.

We also direct seeded some basil in the middle "row". We literally just threw them in the ground with no rhyme or reason. We are completely aware that we should space them and blah, blah, blah but we don't have a lot of space and there are a heck of a lot of seeds in a packet so we just threw them on the ground and hoped for the best. The only section we don't have a picture of is the one with the red beans in the ground and in two pots. We went to the supermarket, bought some dried red beans and planted them. Just an experiment.We'll see how that goes.

Back to Reality

So I had a beautiful Memorial Day weekend. I cleaned up the yard, I planted tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, basil and beans. I had a beautiful visit with my in-laws. I baked bread, made a cheesecake and watched movies with my family. We barbequed yesterday and played volleyball. The weekend had some frustrating moments, but for the most part, it was a great weekend.

Of course, all good things come to an end. This morning I'm back at work and I learn of all that has happened over the weekend. Spain's credit score has been dropped. Troubles with Israel and the U.S. is on the side of the U.N. The U.N. is NEVER on the right side. Journalism takeover by the U.S. government. Two Moroccan men were deported from Italy because of their plot to assassinate the Holy Father. And so on and so on. Mark Mallet's blog (older blogs that he wrote before the unraveling began) confirm that his prophetic words are to be heeded. Spirit Daily's headlines offered the same news of the prophetic pulse. The Drudge report is unmentionable.

Dear sweet Jesus, Have mercy on us. Pour your grace out upon us that we may seek your face. Lead us and guide us. Take care of us as we place our trust in you.

It feels as if things will now begin to speed up. Things will continue to unravel until its all undone, and then... they will come in and take full control.

Prepare, but not just with food and water. But with prayer and fasting. With confession and Mass. With the Rosary and Scripture.

Our only source of hope is Christ. And that's how it should be.

Those who trust in Him will not be put to shame.

Oh How I Dream... and Wait

I am physically here, but my mind and heart are so far away. Where are they? Maybe somewhere like this.

Or even better like this...

I dream of the country. I dream of buying a farm. I dream of working at home with my husband, either farming or some other occupation that we could do at home together. I dream of picking fresh fruits and veggies and making meals from scratch with ingredients picked only minutes before. I dream of having more children and homeschooling them. I dream of living a life full of peace, without the distraction of this hustle and bustle life we are currently living. I dream of us being a family that lives, works and prays together in the beauty and comfort of our own home. I dream of looking outside my window and seeing sights like these...

I want a red barn something like this.

and a road that leads to my home that looks like this.

 

Hopes of my peaceful existence on a farm permeate my mind almost constantly now. The reality is my husband and I don't really have the money to move out of state and purchase a farm. We don't really know the first thing about farming. We don't know how to milk a cow or raise chickens. Yet someway, somehow, I believe it's possible that one day this dream will become a reality. I have no idea how this would come about. All I know is that if it is God's will, He will make it happen and it will be an absolute miracle.

I've been looking at farm land for sale in various states. I've looked up what kind of weather they have in those states. I've read about other "homesteaders" and how they are making their dreams come true. I've begun reading this amazing blog about the "Catholic Homesteading Movement" - as he calls it - and it absolutely fascinates me how God is calling others to this life. I've read blogs in which some very resourceful people have actually built their own houses with the own hands. (I must admit I don't think we could ever do something like that, but God bless those that do) I've read about maple syrup trees and raising chickens. I've read about small farms and how they survive. Some small farmers have some very innovative ideas. My days are consumed with studying all there is to learn about such an endeavor.

We have begun to do the small things that we can do while still living in the city. My husband and I have planted some vegetables in our very small back yard. We rent the 2nd floor in a two family house. Last year, our neighbors downstairs actually gave us half of the planting area so we could plant some tomatos. This year I don't think they are planting anything. Today we will confirm that with them and if it's true, we will ask if we can use the rest of the space and plant some more. It's such a mess because the weeds have grown like crazy and the landlord has dumped all of his grass clippings there. It sounds insane, but the fact that it's so messy excites me more. I want some hard labor out in the sun. I want to at least pretend I am on my farm. We've already had the joy of eating salad with fresh lettuce grown by our own hands.

A few months back, I began cooking from scratch. I never thought that was for me, but it seems it is. I enjoy it and I'm actually pretty good at it. This weekend, I plan to bake some homemade bread. I've been saying this forever, but never have enough time. This weekend, I've put a whole day aside to bake bread and make a chocolate cheesecake. (Not too healthy, but we must treat ourselves every now and then)

My husband and I would also like to learn some carpentry skills, so I've emailed Habitat for Humanity to see if we could volunteer. I'm sure some of those skills would come in handy when living on our farm.

These are the little steps I've taken to begin this life that I pray we are called to. I asked God that if this life isn't for us, to please remove this desire from our hearts. The desire has increased. The more I search online, the more I see that we aren't the only ones who God seems to be calling to this way of life. This encourages me and leads me to believe that through this "homesteading movement", God is working to restore families and bring them closer to Himself. God is leading families to holiness and unity. It is His counterattack to the breakdown of the family that has been occuring for who knows how long.

This morning I offered my Mass in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary, St. Joseph and John Paul II. I ask for them to intercede for us about this strong desire. Our Blessed Mother was home raising her Son and no doubt taught him so much about God and family. St. Joseph worked at home as a carpenter and as soon as Jesus was old enough, he must've taken him to his workshop and passed on these skills to his little apprentice. John Paul II knew so much about God's plan for marriage and family. He also knew the struggles modern day families face. I think I have a pretty powerful group of intercessors praying on my behalf.

So now, I pray... I learn.... I pray some more..... and I wait.

My people perish for lack of knowledge

And the word of the LORD came to me, saying, "Son of man, speak to the sons of your people and say to them, 'If I bring a sword upon a land, and the people of the land take one man from among them and make him their watchman, and he sees the sword coming upon the land and blows on the trumpet and warns the people, then he who hears the sound of the trumpet and does not take warning, and a sword comes and takes him away, his blood will be on his own head. 'He heard the sound of the trumpet but did not take warning; his blood will be on himself. But had he taken warning, he would have delivered his life. 'But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet and the people are not warned, and a sword comes and takes a person from them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood I will require from the watchman's hand.' "Now as for you, son of man, I have appointed you a watchman for the house of Israel; so you will hear a message from My mouth and give them warning from Me. (Ezekiel 33:1-7)

When the government monetizes the debt (prints money)

which was done in March 2009

Inflation can occur as it did in the Weimar Republic.

When inflation occurs, prices go up

but your dollar is worth less.

In the Weimar Republic, they needed tons of money to purchase food.
Is this where we are headed?

Are we headed for another depression?

In the US, during the Great Depression,

people waited on line for hours for the government to feed them.

They lost their homes.

People did whatever they could to earn income.

Families went hungry.

No one expected that this was coming, so they weren't prepared.

The world is on fire right now. Civil unrest and economic collapse threatens everyone. If you want to see what's coming to the U.S., watch Europe. They are further ahead than we are with socialist programs and big government bailouts. When you have a "nanny state" - (a government that tries to provide everything for its citizens) eventually they run out of money and can't afford everything promised to the people. Universal healthcare is a great concept... in theory only. Next we will be hearing the government talk about universal housing, universal employment and universal food. It will all be called "a right". They will say you have a right to a job, a right to a home, and it is the governments job to provide it for you. But where will the government get all the money to pay for it? Government handouts such as extended unemployment and welfare programs may sound great, but who is going to pay for it? Who will pay for these huge pensions? That's when taxes begin to increase. The government has to get the money from somewhere. When citizens are taxed too much, they don't have money to pay for everyday items. The economy slows down because no one is buying and no one is selling. Companies close down due to lack of sales, lay people off and unemployment skyrockets. We're already at 10%. Eventually the economy comes to a hault. When economic collapse threatens (as it is doing so worldwide) civil unrest begins.

The riots in Greece have already begun.

It's only a matter of time before we see these images taking place in the U.S. 

Europe has been socialist for so long and now we are seeing where this road leads. We are already on our way to collapse with bailouts of companies deemed 'too big to fail'. The passing of healthcare was another nail in the coffin. Our government doesn't seem to understand the concept of fiscal responsibility. They refuse to stop spending. The taxes are coming and if we continue on this road, economic collapse is inevitable. Prepare yourselves for a crash landing. Share with others and prepare them.

As it was in the days of Noah, so will it be in the days of the Son of Man. They ate and drank, they took husbands and wives, right up to the day Noah entered the ark… It was much the same in the days of Lot: they ate and drank, they bought and sold, they built and planted… It will be like that on the day the son of Man is revealed. (Luke 17:26-33)

Prepare yourselves...

Lately God has been speaking with such an intensity and urgency that I feel the need to share with family and friends. I've shared my thoughts with some and surprisingly, not one has said, 'You're losing your mind.' There are events unfolding that will eventually lead to the complete fulfillment of the book of Revelation. The wheels have been set in motion. There are so many people feeling the same 'prophetic' vibe... like something is coming. I'm not God and I'm not saying I KNOW that the END of the world is near. That is something only God knows and we know His timing is much different than ours. What I am saying is that I believe that God is true to His promise, "The Lord GOD does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants, the prophets." (Amos 3:7) And it seems as if He has been speaking to many, calling them, telling them to prepare. Not necessarily for the end... but for something.

Recently the questions were asked, "Why do you think we MIGHT be headed in this direction? So many predictions have been made about these things and we're still here. There have been wars and earthquakes before, so why is now different?" Those are fair questions. Now, like I said, I'm not saying the end of the world is near, but I can without a doubt say that this time is different. Yes, there have always been wars and earthquakes. But can we say that humanity has strayed from God and from His plan in such a way as this? Evil that was done in secret before is now done out in the open. Evil has no reason to hide, because it's so widely accepted. Abortion is mainstream now. So is promiscuity, pornography, homosexuality, the breakdown of the family...  It's all so commonplace nowadays. God is being pushed out and is replaced with whatever our god of choice is. Money has become so many peoples new god. The occult and paganism (the new age movement) is everywhere. So much is tainted with it and if you look with the eyes of the Spirit, you notice that so much of it is geared toward our youth. What the government is doing now is pure evil. If you aren't aware of what is taking place in our country, please educate yourself. And of course, we must look at all of the new evils that have arisen. Embryonic stem cell research, we play God and create a life, to then destroy it. Cloning. Lately the new trend seems to be creating animals with human genes. And now the child created with three parents. If this is not playing God, I don't know what is. So these are the reasons why if we were close to the end, I wouldn't be shocked. I think humanity has reached a level where God Himself must intervene before we destroy ourselves.

Whether we are in the end times or we are just going through another tough period in history, I believe God, someway, somehow, will intervene. It might be a purification of some sort. All I know is He seems to be speaking to many people who all feel that this is the time to prepare.

The message seems to be, "This is the time of mercy. Open your hearts to me. Learn to hear my voice and let my Spirit lead you. Purify yourselves of all wrongdoing. Live as walking tabernacles and temples of my Holy Spirit. Learn to rely on me for everything. It is a time of grace and I ask you to strengthen yourselves and your faith through prayer. Difficult times are coming, but those who walk with Me and trust in Me have nothing to fear." This is just what I feel God has been telling me personally. I have found consolation in His Word, "But now, this is what the LORD says- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD , your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; (Is. 43:1-3)

Whatever happens, all I know is that Jesus is my Rock, my Stronghold, my Deliverer and I place my trust in Him. In Him alone can we find security. Not security that says you won't go through anything. But security that "we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Rom. 8:28) I believe we will see miracles if we place our trust in Him.

Gardening and Shingles

So my gardening madness has begun. Two days ago I started 3 cilantro plants and 3 basil plants. (from seeds) My living room is a disaster area. I set up a gardening station on my small bistro table by the window. But it's a happy mess. Unlike the other side of the living room along with the dining room and kitchen. A hurricane hit Yonkers on Saturday. (not really but thats what I'm calling it) It blew the shingles off the roof and there was a leak in my kitchen. So I removed all of the food and it's living on my dining room table. I have had all sorts of pots and containers catching the water coming into the kitchen. Then the landlord came over and had to climb to the attic through my closet to put pans up there so it could catch the water before it leaked down to us. So needless to say, all of the stuff in my storage closet had to come out so he could climb up. Who puts an attic entrance inside a closet anyway? Since I know he'll be back to bring down those ginormous pans, I didn't see a point to putting the stuff back into the closet. So it's sitting on what should be the tidy side of the living room. (the unhappy mess)

But back to gardening... I can't wait to get to the backyard and clean away all of the leaves and branches and start tilling the soil. I'm waiting for the soil to dry up completely so I can get to it. I'm off from work tomorrow cuz it's St. Patrick's Day and I was hoping to do it then but I don't know if it will be dry by then. I've never been a person who liked spring and summer. I'm more an autumn kinda girl, but now that I'm gardening, I love this time of year. Tonight I think I'll start 4 tomato plants and 3 lettuce plants. In the middle of August, I'm planting spinach, but that I'm planting directly outside. I won't start them indoors.

It's almost quitting time and I'm completely restless and hungry. I've been looking at the new food network magazine that just arrived and I have about 7 recipes that I want to try. But not tonight. Tonights menu is meat loaf (from stew leonards... not homemade) and some Quinoa (pronounced KEEN-wah) with broccoli and homemade cheese sauce. My husband was eating one of those green giant vegetable thingys that you microwave and it was a rice with cheddar broccoli or something. I want to try my own healthier homemade version so we'll see how that goes.

Going as Organic as I can

So I really like junk food. I have 100 calorie chips and a 60 calorie no sugar added pudding everyday. But I definitely practice self control. I've been watching my calorie intake and I've lost about 8 pounds. The only way I've been able to do it is to have low calorie, low fat snacks so I won't feel so deprived. I never go overboard and have a lot, but I do have them everyday.

Today I clicked on a link about 12 food additives to avoid. It mentioned the effects of these food additives as well as the foods they can be found in. And now I want to go on a rampage. I want to throw out my puddings, fat free salad dressings, 40 calorie fudgesickles and potato chips and substitute them for healthier alternatives. We already eat about 80% organic/natural. We eat lots of fresh veggies. My husband and daughter eat lots of fruit. I like them, but for some reason, don't eat them. But I will start. The other 20% that we eat is either not organic or just unhealthy low calorie snacks that I eat to get through the day. I cook homemade A LOT. But now, I just want to make sure I do that more often. I can't bake yet because it's still Lent. But once Lent is over, I will have healthy homemade desserts.

From now on, we will try to only buy things when we can pronounce all of the ingredients on the label. If it has a long list of chemicals, we won't buy it. My husband and I saw Supersize Me about 7 or 8 months ago and we haven't eaten any fast food since. (thank you Jesus) We already buy healthy alternatives to ice cream. We buy organic frozen yogurt. Today I found healthy alternative to potato chips. We have found healthy alternatives to dip. We not eat hummus by the bucket-load. So we don't eat terribly but nevertheless, I still feel we can do so much better. And I am VERY inspired to do so. The closer it is to the way God made it, the better it is for you.

Thankfully, my husband really doesn't mind what we buy or what we eat. He makes life easy. But I don't think he is going to want me to throw out the case of puddings we bought from costco...

Betrayal

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. But much has happened. Some good, some bad.

God has spoken to me about scripture. He has reminded me to meditate on and study His Word. Sometimes things get so overwhelming, that we forget the basics and need a reminder every now and then. And so I began to meditate on Romans 12:2. "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect."

I have been repeating this verse to myself over and over and really meditating on it. It has been quite helpful in getting me through the bad that has happened. It has reminded me that I need to keep my thoughts under control and renew my mind.

Someone very close to me accused me of the most hurtful things ever imaginable.... things that I could've never imagined nor would ever want to imagine. I will call her X. X said that I did these things 15 years ago as a teenager. Now first of all, I know I wasn't the best teenager in the world. In fact, I was actually quite self destructive as a teenager... but NEVER would I have ever done what I was accused of. It saddened me. It hurt me for someone who is supposed to know me so well to believe those things about me. It hurts to think that she has been holding a grudge for that long. I always knew she had a wrong opinion of me, but I never thought it was THIS extreme.

Another thing that boggles my mind is why would she bring it up now? It literally came out of nowhere. I received some news that could turn out to be good (financially) and she found out about it before I did. So she called me to inform me of it. Then out of nowhere, she says that she wants to talk about things that have been on her mind lately. She said I did some terrible things to her and she has never confronted me about them... til now. And she proceeds to tell me what she thinks I did. I'm still in shock. So again, I question... Why bring it up now? After all these years? Was X upset or jealous that something good was happening to me? I just don't understand.

I had my husband in the room listening to my responses. I do this when I think these are going to turn ugly with X. This isn't the first time we've bumped heads, but it's never been this bad. I always have my husband in the room. He is my accountability partner. I always want him to be aware of all I do, good or bad. He corrects me when I need correcting, supports me when I need support and helps me to see where I went wrong and how I can do better next time. I love him for that. So I had him in the room and he heard my side of the conversation and later on I told him what she had said. And I asked him, "Was I wrong? Did I start something?" And he said no.

I need him to keep me from straying in one direction or the other. No one but God and my husband really know how hard I am on myself. No one knows how I strive to find where I went wrong and how I always dissect every situation just so I know how to handle future situations. Now, I'm not saying I always handle them correctly but I am saying that I do not like to be ignorant of my sinfulness.

My husband is an amazing man. He does what God asks of him and it is never for a reward or to score brownie points. He does it just because it's the right thing to do. He is a just and fair man. So when he says that I didn't do anything wrong, I believe him. When I'm wrong, he's the first one to call me out on it.

So now I'm left with having been accused and feeling angry, hurt and betrayed and knowing I did nothing wrong. (there is a first for everything because usually, I have a lot to do with what went wrong) So now I'm struggling with these negative feelings and thoughts. I woke up the next day with angry thoughts and I battled them through the Divine Mercy Chaplet for X. It was all I could do. Then I went to confession and confessed how I was angry and couldn't forgive... how I had been thinking angry thoughts and how I felt resentful. Not only that, but I confessed things I have said to others that might have left them feeling as I feel. It was a situation that... I can't believe I'm saying this... but I'm glad it happened. Now I know where I stand with X. I confessed speaking harshly and hurting people. I asked forgiveness from the person I hurt through my words. And I pray this serves me as a reminder of how to treat people.

This morning, I was reading "the little black book." It's a book thats put out for Lent and Advent and there is a meditation everyday leading up to the feast days you're preparing for. Todays meditation was about Jesus and Judas. It explained how when Judas betrayed Jesus, it hurt Jesus badly because this was someone He loved... someone He was close to... one of the TWELVE. It spoke about how this betrayal cut Jesus to the heart and it ended with the best two sentences I could've heard today.

"In one way or another we have all felt something like this because of broken relationships, divorce, being done in or betrayed by someone we trusted. Jesus is no stranger to how we feel."

What more can I say but thank you Jesus for reminding me that I am not alone and that you help me to carry every cross.

Man made lights

So we are on our way home from my in-laws house and my daughter was looking up at the stars. And she starts to tell me how she loves looking at the stars and how we see so few in comparison to how many there really are. Then she says its because we live in the city and there are so many lights and those lights don't let us see the stars. So I thought, wow! She's right.

The man-made lights block out the light of Gods creation.

That was something to meditate on.

The Ant and the Grasshopper in 2010

An email I received. Worth sharing.

OLD VERSION


The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


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MODERN VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shiveringgrasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on theant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopperdoesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

Info on Daniel Fast

*****Foods to include in your diet during the Daniel Fast*****


All fruits. These can be fresh, frozen, dried, juiced or canned. Fruits include but are not limited to apples, apricots, bananas, blackberries, blueberries, boysenberries, cantaloupe, cherries, cranberries, figs, grapefruit, grapes, guava, honeydew melon, kiwi, lemons, limes, mangoes, nectarines, oranges, papayas, peaches, pears, pineapples, plums, prunes, raisins, raspberries, strawberries, tangelos, tangerines, watermelon

All vegetables. These can be fresh, frozen, dried, juiced or canned. Vegetables include but are not limited to artichokes, asparagus, beets, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, celery, chili peppers, collard greens, corn, cucumbers, eggplant, garlic, ginger root, kale, leeks, lettuce, mushrooms, mustard greens, okra, onions, parsley, potatoes, radishes, rutabagas, scallions, spinach, sprouts, squashes, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, turnips, watercress, yams, zucchini.

All whole grains, including but not limited to whole wheat, brown rice, millet, quinoa, oats, barley, grits, whole wheat pasta, whole wheat tortillas, rice cakes and popcorn.

All nuts and seeds, including but not limited to sunflower seeds, cashews, peanuts, sesame. Also nut butters including peanut butter.

All legumes. These can be canned or dried. Legumes include but are not limited to dried beans, pinto beans, split peas, lentils, black eyed peas, kidney beans, black beans, cannellini beans, white beans.

All quality oils including but not limited to olive, canola, grape seed, peanut, and sesame.

Beverages: spring water, distilled water or other pure waters.

Other: tofu, soy products, vinegar, seasonings, salt, herbs and spices.



*****Foods to avoid on the Daniel Fast*****


All meat and animal products including but not limited to beef, lamb, pork, poultry, and fish.

All dairy products including but not limited to milk, cheese, cream, butter, and eggs.

All sweeteners including but not limited to sugar, raw sugar, honey, syrups, molasses, and cane juice.

All leavened bread including Ezekiel Bread (it contains yeast and honey) and baked goods.

All refined and processed food products including but not limited to artificial flavorings, food additives, chemicals, white rice, white flour, and foods that contain artificial preservatives.

All deep fried foods including but not limited to potato chips, French fries, corn chips.

All solid fats including shortening, margarine, lard and foods high in fat.

Beverages including but not limited to coffee, tea, herbal teas, carbonated beverages, energy drinks, and alcohol.

Again, this is just information as you pray let your spirit guide you and tell you exactly what the Lord wants you to sacrifice.

Stay Blessed and be a blessing!

Ash Wednesday

So today is Ash Wednesday. I have prayed and I feel as if God wants me to do some specific things this Lent.

1. No baking goodies for Lent. Baking has truly become a passion of mine and so giving that up for the next 40 days will definitely be a sacrifice. I have a list of about 4 different recipes I wanted to try, but for now, they are on the back burner.

2. Practice "The Little Way" of St. Therese. Small acts of sacrifice that serve others and doing it with a smile. I'm sure opportunities will arise for me to do so. They already have.

3. Spending 10 minutes alone with God everyday LISTENING to Him and not talking. That could mean reading His Word and allowing Him to speak to me through it, or meditating on something He's told me. But NO talking!

This morning at Mass, the priest said that we who receive these ashes are not doing so because we are holy. We are receiving them as a sign of repentance and as a sign of admission that we are sinners. I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree!!!

This Lent, I wish to keep in mind a lesson that God has been speaking to me about a lot lately. The lesson of His Grace and how apart from Him, we can do nothing. I have very high hopes for this Lenten Season. I know that many graces will be poured out upon me and my family. I believe that God intends to transform us. I believe that He intends to teach us more about denying ourselves, dying to ourselves and serving others. I'm so so grateful that it's Lent. I want a new beginning. I want more of Him. I want more of a servants heart, and this special grace-filled time of year is perfect for such new beginnings.

So far, this is what I've felt called to doing on a personal level apart from the fasting and abstinence that all Catholics practice.  Now that I have some time to myself, I will spend it with the Lord.

Too much food and food related items... And Happy Valentines Day!

So I haven't blogged for days. I've been too busy cooking delicious spinach and ricotta quiches and baking cakes and making ganache and whipped ganache frosting and whipped ganache candies. I've watched movies and bought books at Barnes and Noble. I've gone out to dinner and COMPLETELY overeaten. Yesterday was the worst. I ate about 3000 calories. (I'm only supposed to be having 1200) But they were 3000 calories of buffalo quesadillas, nachos with cheese, chicken wraps with broccoli and tomatoes, wonderful mashed potatoes... *sigh*... the bliss. Needless to say, I will not be weighing myself for 3 weeks.

Aside from the massive amounts of deadly food I've consumed, I now have a way to store my healthy recipes. My husband bought me the most thoughtful gift for valentines day. It was a recipe organizer. I was so so so grateful. It was thoughtful and something totally up my alley... something I would've desired but would never have bought myself. I love him!!! He also bought me a movie I've been dying to see; The Nativity Story. So it was an absolutely amazing Valentines day. Today I will be making healthy stir fry with actual vegetables that I purchased fresh at the market and not the frozen kind. I plan to read and watch movies all day. I already worked out so there's no need to exert myself the rest of the day.

Enjoy your presidents day! I will!!!

Lots of Blue Snow

For an "uneventful" day off, I most certainly woke up early. I've been up since 5:00 am. The thought of my car under all that snow... I just couldn't sleep. So I got up while my husband was showering to go to work (yes, there was work and yes, he went in) and began shoveling. It was a lot of snow.

I'm short, so that snow pile was almost as tall as me. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. And actually, I saw something beautiful this morning. As the sun was rising, the sky turned into this beautiful blue that I've never seen before. It was a blue something like this, but not quite. Now I regret not taking a picture. And the color of the sky was lighting up the snow. So the snow had this beautiful blue glow. It was amazing.

We finished shoveling snow and I came home and he went to work. My poor daughter... She watched the news all morning and they didn't say her school was closed. So she gets dressed, my husband drives her and has to bring her back because it was in fact closed. She took it well. The excitement from another day off outweighed the fact that she's been up since early this morning. She's sleeping right now.

As for me, I don't know what I'm going to do. I've been online all morning with recipes and food and such. And now I'm sleepy but I need to get ready to prepare lunch.

Snow and Plopped Ganache

So theres a blizzard in NY. The schools were closed which means the Archdiocese was closed, so I've been home all day. Part of my day was a bit disappointing. I made my cake and ganache. The ganache looked really good til the end. After I frosted the cake, I decided I would whip the remaining chocolate and pipe flowers on the cake. After whipping some, my husband said there wasn't enough to make flowers out of it. So I plopped it on the cake. And thats what it looked like. Plopped chocolate. It looks like crap but tasted pretty good.

My husband has been wrestling with snow all day, both in his mind and in reality. If he wasn't out there shoveling the sidewalk, he was up here thinking about shoveling the sidewalk. He's a good man because I haven't even thought about opening my door, much less stepping out into the snow that's taller than I am. The cars are buried right now. I have already predetermined that the streets will be undrivable tomorrow and I've already given myself a day off. I pray my boss feels the same way and calls work off so my husband stays home. If work is open, he will be there. He has a "strong work ethic" that I admire, but I don't want to immitate tomorrow.

The pizza is now done, so we're going to have dinner and watch the Bourne movie - part 3. I don't know how this third one is going to be any different than the other two, but we'll see. When we saw the first one, all night I dreamt that my husband and I were fighting people. Well, I'm off to have some semi-homemade pizza with my family. I don't forsee tomorrow being too exciting since I'm staying home... but one never knows.

My first blog... kinda

So this is my first blog here... but I've been known to blog quite frequently on those social networking sites we all know and love.

I guess I will start off by simply explaining what this blog is all about. I will model it after Seinfeld... Anyone who watched Seinfeld knew that it was a show about nothing, but it was about everything. That's what this is. A blog about nothing and everything. That's the stuff life is made of. All the everyday moments that we count as nothing... yet they make up the everything that is our life.

First and foremost, the name "A lil bit of Son shine" refers to my Jesus. I love Him. I try to live for Him. I fail miserably most of the time, but nevertheless I have rare and amazing moments where He shines through me. I pray that everything I do, even the mundane chores of everyday life, would have a ray of The Son shining in it and through it.

I am a Roman Catholic who loves my church. I am a wife and mother who loves her family insanely. I work full time. I'm into politics. Glenn Beck is amazing. I love to read and write. I live in the city, but I don't like it here. I want to move to the country where I can grow my own vegetables and herbs. I want to work from home with my husband. I want to learn carpentry skills. I want to build my own home. I would learn to fix cars if given the opportunity. I love food. I eat mostly organic. I grew my own tomatoes last summer. My newest obsession is cooking from scratch. Tomorrow I'm baking a cake from scratch and making some ganache. (first time for both)

And these are probably just some of the topics I will write about. I guess like many others, I blog knowing that no one will read my words. But that doesn't really matter. (As long as my husband reads it.) I write just for the sake of writing. I don't really know how often I will write. I guess whenever I feel it.

And now I feel like editing the look of the blog. So on to that.